With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, it got me thinking about love and romance at work.
Well, I love medical drama shows. I always have – from A Country Practice when I was growing up to the likes of Greys Anatomy and The Practice nowadays. But, one thing that has always struck me is the way relationships develop on those shows.
Fully aware that TV is not reality (although I think some of my friends may disagree), I always laugh when I see doctors and nurses making out in the doctors’ lounge or various other not-so-private areas within the hospital.
You see, never in my 16 years of nursing have I caught any member of staff in such an embrace. It’s certainly not that I am oblivious to my surroundings. So, it just makes me wonder if such things really happen?
I have known staff members to date and even to marry. But, it has always been something that they have tried to keep away from the workplace. They certainly do not have a habit of flaunting it in the corridors or the cupboards. In fact, they oftem do everything possible to ensure that the powers that be are not aware at all. Of course, this is rarely successful as hospitals are large institutions and full of gossip.
Perhaps, my place of work is different to yours? Do romances and interludes occur out there in other hospitals? Should it be permitted for staff working together to date? Is it any business of the employer to know what we do in our spare time?
I personally think as long as you are professional at work and you can maintain that even if the relationship sours then there is not harm.
Romance in the workplace When I was a new grad I worked at Westmead Hospital and my first rotation was the Neurosurgical ward. I lived in the staff quarters with three other RNs but I was new to the area. I ended up with tonsillitis and I didn’t have a GP there yet. I went into Parramatta to a medical centre. I saw a very young GP. When I signed the Medicare form he looked at me and said, ” You live downstairs from me. Now I know where I’ve seen you before you work on the neurosurgical ward don’t you? I’m a neuro registrar. I’m just moonlighting here a few shifts every couple of weeks.”
Two days later he knocked on my door and asked to borrow a cup of sugar! Then the next day he asked to borrow my vacuum cleaner and asked me out to dinner. We dated for about three months but drifted apart when I moved to ICU for my next rotation and had to study +++ and he was studying +++ for his consultant exams. Should have really made more of an effort he became a neurosurgeon – he was definitely a keeper and not bad eye candy either!
mm i totally agree i think if there is romance in the workplace those ppl keep it to the bear minimum to make it obvious that their into each other though ,
Hi there
Well I am one of those workplace romances – I dated then married my RN husband. And yes we are strictly professional when at work together. Unfortunatly we are currently working in a small country hospital where the staffing make such a big deal over us being caught talking in the corridor even if it is about patience care!!! So school yard!
Bells….. it is nice to hear that you and your husband can manage a work relationship so well in a small country town when I am sure there is even more gossip than a large city hospital. You are right though, it can become very schoolyard which adds a new dimension to work which is totally unnecessary.
Foxylass….. hindsight it 20/20
I seriously can’t believe that nursing is a career for adults. I can’t think of one other workplace where management would have the bare faced hide to consider that the private life of employees was any of their business. I have seen romances between medical staff and not an eyebrow raised. Nurses on the other hand are treated like naughty children. It’s ridiculous and an affront to basic human rights.
Ah! Romance! – I was 19 when I started nursing, tricked there by my mother who worked at the hospital as a nurse. It took a while before I realised that some of the Nursing Administrators (evening and night shift) were trying to ‘match-make’, sending ‘eligible female nurses’ to work on the same shift with me.I was too shy to take up a romance here, thinking that word ‘would get around’. In addition, I considered the girls gorgeous, and was convinced they’d say ‘no’ if I asked them out, so didn’t. I did fall in love with every 3rd nurse I worked with, but kept it as a ‘one-sided’ affair.I have dozens of friends who all ‘intermarried’ ( I always called it ‘inbreeding’ !). I finally fell in love with a nurse who came to our hospital from Bankstown Hospital. She was soon to possibly get married to an American, so when she went overseas, I followed, and drove her crazy. She told me to get lost, but I had a map! – She still wonders what life would have been like had she married the Yank (35 years ago!).
At work, I often saw nurses sitting side-by-side, stroking ach other’s hair. Sometimes you’d catch them holding hands (though under a patient they were lifting or repositioning) and catch the look of ‘love’. Many married nurses often worked on the same ward, on the same shift. It never interfered with their work. Whenever I visited my wife on her ward, or if she visited me, we’d hug, hold hands, and sometimes kiss (as a greeting) and the patients thought it was wonderful.
Life has a reality, so enjoy it.
ps., when I started nursing, female nurses were ‘evil witches’ if they married, and worse if they ever wanted to get pregnant. On our wedding day, the deputy matron kept looking for my wife, who was forever hidden in cupboards by her colleagues, so that she couldn’t be caught with her hair in curlers. She had to work on the day as they wouldn’t allow her to have the day off. She was ‘deliberately’ rostered on duty as punishment. Then she had to work 28 days straight just to get the 8 days off for a honeymoon! Dragons ruled in nursing administration then!
I met my wife at my small country hospital, it was love at first sight. Never ever going to get married again after my first marriage failed. I was sure wrong 12 years down the track. Our hospital actually has three husband and wife nurses attached to it.We often work together and it works well as she is a good switched on nurse.
I met my husband whilst working in ED. He was the “cranky night shift orderly” according to me, and I was the nurse “you don’t mess with” he reckons. We didn’t start going out until after I’d left ED (just the way it happened). We’ve been married now 3 1/2 years and I still love him just as much.
I have orderly friends who’ve also married nurses or other hospital workers. We’ve all got one thing in common at least so it makes sense to me. We moved to a country town and worked together occasionally and it didn’t affect our relationship and professionalism. Although, I did get preferential treatment (“can you please get me a can of coke from the coffee shop” and it would turn up!) sometimes. It was strange working with him initially because I didn’t want to be the boss at home AND at work! haha